Sex with the cable guy: does it really happen?
Jordan, a gorgeously cute, freckled blonde, was looking to have her phone line installed so off we go to do what we do best, satisfy the customer. After looking at the disastrous mess of cable and wires at her place it was obvious to me, we didn’t have the right equipment to do the job. Jordan, however, had a different job on her mind and I definitely had the right tool to take care of that. Watch me plug my cable into Jordan, and box and jackhammer that tight socket at T1 speeds.
Excerpted from CableGuySex.com
Sex with the cable guy–it’s a fantasy that has become a regular sexual obsession in our society, especially among bored housewives and other stay-at-homes. There’s just something about blue collar man in uniform coming over in the middle of the day when the kids are at school and the husband is at work to satisfy all your entertainment needs–TV, Internet, daytime sex with a stranger. There are pornos with titles like Cable Guy Sex and Blue Collar Butthole (yes, the latter is gay porn) and Time Warner even produced a promotional calendar last year that featured 12 hot hunky cable guys with bulging muscles doing things like, cooking a delicious meal for you in their hard hat.
“It’s the 21st century version of our grandmothers’ sex with the milk man and our mothers’ sex with the plumber fantasies,” says Carol Queen, who runs the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco. She also points out that, with the increase in the number of female cable people, there could be a secret lesbian angle to the fantasy, too. Keep reading for more cable guy porn scenarios and to read about my ongoing quest to find out whether sex with the cable guy actually happens.
What I was really hoping for this story was find someone who had actually had sex with the cable guy. I, unfortunately, have not had sex with my cable guy. (The last cable guy that came over was pretty old, and I’m just not into old dudes.) Neither had Carol Queen, and she didn’t know anyone who had either. I even posted a note on Craigslist asking for people who had had sex with the cable guy to email me, but nobody wrote in. Does sex with the cable guy actually happen, or is it a fantasy that doesn’t translate well in real time?
I called my local cable company, Comcast. “Can you comment on whether sex with the cable guy or sexual harassment of cable guys is a problem you’ve noticed at Comcast?” I asked the lady on the phone. Long silence. “Uhhh… not that I’m aware of,” she finally said. “But I will pass on your message and get back to you.” As of right now, I still haven’t heard back from them.
Also for “research purposes,” I spent a bunch of time commuting to local porn shops and surfing YouPorn(NSFW!) and Gamelink(NSFW!). I didn’t find any lesbian cable porn, but I did find that most cable guy porn had pretty basic story lines. Here’s another from CableGuySex.com (NSFW!):
Alexis was having some trouble with her phone jack and scheduled a date for the cable guy crew to come in and have a look. After ringing the doorbell a few times with no answer, we thought we would have a peek in the window before leaving. Looks like someone forgot the cable guy was coming over because Alexis was in the middle of a hot masturbation session when we knocked on the bedroom window. I guess we came at the perfect time because when she opened the door, the only “jack” Alexis was interested in, was jack-ing my cock.
Before I go, let me ask you this: Have you ever had sex with the cable guy, fantasized about it, or know anyone who has? Ever uttered words like “Let’s establish a connection between my dick and your lips” or “Do you like my tight little pussy cable boy”? If so, leave a message in the comments or shoot me an e-mail.
